by Johnny Pulp
featured image Jeff Koons, Jeff eating Ilona
Each chapter is a ‘level’ of the game and the novel progresses via various encounters between the central protagonist and a range of iconic women with tropes such as lingerie fetish, rape theories and rape hog monsters.
Level 11
Level 11: ZgV discusses the connection between porn and Berlesconi whilst admiring the dead rapist’s plates and vases. They fuck.
The luxurious apartment was now filling with the aromas of the dead rapists’ cooking flesh.
ZgV had to admire the Shun knives that were making short work of the doctor’s desiccated corpse.
‘These knives are fucking gorgeous,’ she commented admiringly.
‘Shun knives are made from VG-MAX steel, which is a type of high-performance stainless steel that is designed to offer exceptional durability and sharpness. The steel is made by blending different elements, including carbon, chromium, and molybdenum, which results in a metal that is tough, corrosion-resistant, and holds a sharp edge well. This makes Shun knives an excellent choice for everyday use in the kitchen.
And look at this – the Damascus pattern on the blade. It’s created by layering multiple sheets of steel together and then forging them under intense heat and pressure. The resulting blade has this beautiful, swirled pattern that is both aesthetically pleasing and functional. Importantly the pattern helps to reduce drag on the blade, allowing for easier and smoother slicing.
In addition to their exceptional performance, Shun knives are also known for their balance and comfort,’ and she held one in her hand and demonstrated this feature with a smile.
‘The handles are made from Pakkawood, which is a durable and moisture-resistant wood composite. They’re ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in the hand, see?’ and she glanced over to Mia Hunag who looked on, ‘… allowing for precise control and reduced hand fatigue.
He’s got a wide range of knives, I have to give the bastard that,’ she added ruefully.
‘He’s got the lot – chef’s knives, paring knives, slicing knives, and more. And he’s got the sharpening tools and accessories too,’ she added approvingly.
She glanced round at the various meat dishes strewn around the room in an assortment of pots and pans.
‘He’s got good taste in the kitchenware department it has to be admitted,’ she continued with a nod.
“I mean, look at them.
‘The pots and pans in this kitchen come from some of the most well-respected names in the cookware industry, including All-Clad, Le Creuset, and Mauviel.
The All-Clad collection is the stainless steel cookware, including the saucepans, sauté pans, and stockpots over there,’ she said and she waved across at them.
Portions of the dead doctor steamed out of them.
‘Made from tri-ply stainless steel, these pots and pans offer exceptional heat distribution and are built to last. They also feature stay-cool handles and tight-fitting lids for optimal performance,’ she nodded as she spoke.
‘But we’ve also got this lot – the Le Creuset collection including a range of enameled cast iron cookware, including Dutch ovens, braisers, and skillet pans. These pots and pans are known for their vibrant colors and superior heat retention. They also feature ergonomic handles and tight-fitting lids that lock in moisture and flavor. Fucking brilliant.
And as if that’s not enough, he also has some of the Mauviel range of copper cookware, including saucepans, sauté pans, and frying pans. Made from 2.5mm-thick copper, these pots and pans have exceptional heat conductivity and responsiveness and also feature stainless steel interiors for easy cleaning and maintenance – not that we’ll be doing any washing up today.
And he’s also got a range of specialty pots and pans, including a French copper egg white bowl from Bourgeat, a carbon steel wok from De Buyer, and a copper fish poacher from Falk.
The Bourgeat egg white bowl is a dram – it’s made from heavy-gauge copper, which conducts heat evenly and is ideal for whisking egg whites to perfection. The De Buyer wok is made from carbon steel, which heats up quickly and is perfect for stir-fry dishes. And the Falk fish poacher is made from solid copper, which provides excellent heat distribution and is perfect for cooking delicate fish.
He’s also got silicone handle covers, pot racks, and utensils made from premium materials like stainless steel and acacia wood. It’s awesome,’ she said.
‘I like the plates and stuff,’ commented Mia Huang as she strolled round the kitchen.
‘Well there’s stuff here I like and stuff I don’t,’ commented ZgV as she joined Mia Huang in appraising them.
‘This is mostly Bernardaud stuff,’ she commented.
‘What’s that?’ asked Mia Huang.
‘It’s a luxury brand of fine porcelain dinnerware that has been in operation for over 150 years. The company was founded in 1863 in Limoges, France, a region known for producing high-quality porcelain. Since its inception, Bernardaud has been synonymous with exceptional craftsmanship, elegant design, and exquisite quality.
The Bernardaud brand is known for its commitment to traditional craftsmanship, with each piece of porcelain carefully crafted by skilled artisans using time-honored techniques. The company’s dedication to quality is reflected in every aspect of its production process, from sourcing the finest raw materials to the delicate hand-painting and glazing that each piece undergoes.
One of the most distinctive aspects of Bernardaud’s porcelain dinnerware is its timeless design. Bernardaud’s pieces are classic and elegant, featuring clean lines and subtle curves that give each piece a refined and sophisticated look. The brand’s signature white porcelain is often adorned with delicate gold or platinum accents, adding a touch of luxury to each piece.
Bernardaud’s commitment to innovation and modern design is also reflected in its collaborations with some of the world’s most renowned designers. Over the years, Bernardaud has worked with designers such as Jeff Koons, David Lynch, and Takashi Murakami, among others, to create limited-edition collections that push the boundaries of traditional porcelain design.
In addition to its dinnerware collections, Bernardaud also produces a range of decorative pieces, including vases, figurines, and other objets d’art. Each of these pieces showcases the brand’s commitment to quality, craftsmanship, and design,’ she explained.
Mia Huang nodded appreciatively.
‘So where’s the problem?’ asked Mia Huang.
‘Well, I love the David Lynch thing here,’ ZgV said, pointing to the distinctive plates.
‘This is his “Silence” collection, a series of porcelain plates. The collection features a series of black and white illustrations that depict surrealistic scenes from Lynch’s films and artwork.
As you can see, the plates are crafted from white porcelain and are decorated with intricate black and white drawings that are inspired by Lynch’s unique aesthetic. Each plate features a different illustration, ranging from a woman with a cloud for a head to a man with a bird perched on his shoulder, see? The designs are highly detailed and are rendered in a delicate, almost whimsical style that is reminiscent of Lynch’s earlier work.
One of the most striking aspects of the “Silence” collection is the way in which the designs are presented on the porcelain. Notice how, rather than being confined to the center of the plate, the illustrations are spread out across the entire surface of the plate, with no clear distinction between the border and the design itself. This creates a sense of continuity and unity that is reflective of Lynch’s philosophy of interconnectedness.
Another interesting feature of the “Silence” collection is the way in which the designs are presented in a series of panels, almost like a comic book or graphic novel. Each plate is divided into several smaller panels, each one containing a different part of the overall illustration. This creates a sense of narrative and progression, with the viewer being invited to follow the story as it unfolds across the series of plates. I love them. I love Lynch though. So that’s why I love them I think,’ said ZgV.
‘Ok, but you said there’s a problem?’ pressed Mia Huang.
‘These here. These are a problem. The “Balloon Venus” collection is a series of porcelain plates and vases that was created by Bernardaud in collaboration with artist Jeff Koons. The collection features six different designs, each one depicting a different version of Koons’ iconic “Balloon Venus” sculpture.
The plates and vases are crafted from white porcelain and are adorned with delicate gold rims. So as you can see, the designs feature Koons’ signature balloon sculptures and are depicted in various colors and sizes. Each plate or vase is designed to showcase the intricate details of the sculpture, from the folds of the balloon to the texture of the strings that hold it together.
Now, the “Balloon Venus” collection received mixed critical responses upon its release. Some critics praised the collection for its innovative design and for bringing Koons’ distinctive aesthetic to a new medium. Others, however, criticized the collection for its commercialism and for the perceived shallowness of Koons’ work.
One of the main criticisms of the collection was that it was seen as a continuation of Koons’ tendency to produce art that was more focused on spectacle and shock value than on substance. Critics argued that the “Balloon Venus” sculptures, while visually striking, lacked the depth and meaning of Koons’ earlier works, such as his “Banality” series. Now with all that I disagree. I see Koon’s ‘Balloon Venus’ work, and these Bernardaud designs as being on a par with all his work,’ she hissed.
‘So you don’t have a problem with Koons?’
‘No. One of the most controversial aspects of Koons’ work is his use of appropriation, which involves taking existing images or objects and incorporating them into his own work. This has led to accusations that Koons is simply copying or stealing from other artists, rather than creating original work. One example of this is his “String of Puppies” sculpture, which features a string of brightly colored balloon animals that are nearly identical to those sold by street vendors.
Koons has defended his use of appropriation, arguing that he is creating something new and meaningful out of existing cultural artifacts.
Another controversial aspect of Koons’ work is his focus on kitsch and consumer culture. Many of his sculptures feature everyday objects or images that are typically considered lowbrow or vulgar, such as his “Hulk Elvis” sculpture, which depicts a larger-than-life statue of Elvis Presley dressed in a Hulk costume. Some critics have accused Koons of pandering to popular tastes rather than producing serious art.
Koons’ tendency to blur the lines between high art and popular culture has also been a source of controversy. Many of his sculptures are highly polished and meticulously crafted, using expensive materials such as porcelain, stainless steel, and gold leaf. However, they often depict subjects that are considered vulgar or lowbrow, leading some critics to question whether they can truly be considered “art” in the traditional sense.
To be honest, I don’t have a problem with any of this. It doesn’t particularly float my boat, but it is art because art is whatever artists do. You can’t tell artists what art is and is not. Art defines itself. Critics and curators and dealers try and control this but they’re always fucked because artists do what they want and whatever they do as an artist just IS art. So no, I have not problem with Koons stuff.’
‘So what’s the problem then?’
‘I have a problem with his former wife,’ snarled ZgV.
‘His former wife? Why?’
‘Back in the early 1990’s Jeff Koons made his “Made in Heaven” series, a controversial and highly divisive body of work that was created in collaboration with the pornographic actress Ilona Staller also known as “Cicciolina” who was also his wife at the time. The series, which includes sculptures, paintings, and photographs, features explicit sexual imagery and has been the subject of much debate and controversy within the art world and beyond.
Jeff Koons, Blow Job (Kama Sutra)
The series depicts the couple engaged in sexual acts, as well as images of Staller’s genitalia. The images are often highly stylized and idealized, featuring bright colors and exaggerated forms that border on the surreal.
It is notable for its use of high-end materials and techniques, including porcelain, stainless steel, and gold leaf. Many of the sculptures in the series are highly polished and meticulously crafted, showcasing Koons’ skill as a craftsman. That stuff I don’t mind at all.’
‘So what’s the problem?’ asked Mia Huang.
‘The woman’s politics.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked the bemused Mia Huang who had little knowledge of Italian politics.
‘Let me tell you about Staller. Ilona Staller is a Hungarian-born Italian pornographic actress, politician, and singer. She was born on November 26, 1951, in Budapest, Hungary.
She began her career in the entertainment industry in the 1970s, working as a model and appearing in several Italian adult films. She quickly gained popularity for her uninhibited and exuberant performances, as well as her striking beauty and distinctive blonde hair. I’ve watched several of her films and frankly they’re too active for my liking.
In addition to her work in adult entertainment, Staller also pursued a career in music, releasing several albums throughout the 1980s and 1990s. Her most popular song, “Muscolo Rosso,” was a hit in Italy and other parts of Europe. It’s a mainstream example of Eurotrash pop lacking a distinctive harmony and highlighting a baby doll tween voice and simulated sex breathing that is typical of the genre. Again, I have no issues with any of this either.
In 1987, Staller entered politics, running for a seat in the Italian parliament as a member of the Radical Party. She campaigned on a platform of sexual liberation and civil rights, and was elected to the Chamber of Deputies. During her time in parliament, Staller made headlines for her outspoken views on issues such as abortion, gay rights, and animal welfare. All highly commendable.
Throughout her career, Staller has remained a controversial figure, with some viewing her as a champion of sexual freedom and others criticizing her for promoting a harmful and objectifying view of women. But that’s not the problem either,’ she explained.
‘So what is?’ asked Mia Huang once more, baffled.
‘ Ilona Staller and Silvio Berlusconi had a relationship in the 1980s, prior to Berlusconi’s entry into politics,’ replied ZgV.
‘Whoa. Hold on. Who is this Berlusconi guy?’ asked Mia Huang.
‘Silvio Berlusconi is an Italian media tycoon, entrepreneur, and neo-fascist politician who served as the Prime Minister of Italy for three non-consecutive terms. Born on September 29, 1936, in Milan, Italy, Berlusconi started his career as a real estate developer before branching out into the media industry. He founded the media company Fininvest in the 1970s, which later evolved into Mediaset, one of Italy’s largest media conglomerates.
Berlusconi’s entry into politics came in the 1990s, when he founded the Forza Italia party, which he described as a center-right liberal-democratic party. In 1994, he won the national elections and became Italy’s Prime Minister for the first time. During his tenure, he implemented a number of economic reforms and was credited with boosting Italy’s economic growth. However, his time in office was also marred by a number of scandals and controversies, including allegations of corruption, conflicts of interest, and ties to organized crime.
Berlusconi’s political career was marked by a series of ups and downs. He was forced to resign as Prime Minister in 1995 after a corruption scandal, but returned to power in 2001. He was re-elected in 2008, but his third term was marked by growing political instability and economic challenges. Berlusconi faced widespread criticism for his handling of the economic crisis and his personal conduct, which included numerous sex scandals and controversial statements.
Berlusconi’s critics accused him of undermining democratic institutions and eroding civil liberties during his time in office. His media empire, which included control of the majority of Italy’s television stations, raised concerns about media concentration and the potential for bias and censorship. Berlusconi was also criticized for his close ties to the Vatican and his conservative social policies, including opposition to same-sex marriage and abortion,’ explained ZgV.
‘ He seems to be everything you hate. But why don’t you like Koon’s ex wife?’
‘ Staller and Berlusconi met when she was working as a model and he was a successful businessman and media mogul. The two began a romantic relationship that lasted for several years.
Staller and Berlusconi’s relationship became a subject of media scrutiny and speculation, with some alleging that Berlusconi had helped to launch Staller’s career in adult entertainment. However, both Staller and Berlusconi have denied these claims, stating that their relationship was based on genuine affection and mutual respect. At which point we’re all hydromania amplified!
After Berlusconi entered politics and became Prime Minister of Italy in 1994, Staller remained active in politics as a member of the Radical Party. She continued to advocate for sexual liberation and civil rights, often in opposition to Berlusconi’s conservative views.
Despite their political differences, Staller and Berlusconi have maintained a cordial relationship over the years. In 2013, Staller publicly endorsed Berlusconi’s candidacy for Prime Minister, citing their shared history and mutual respect.’
‘Ok, so she’s a fascist too,’ said Mia Huang.
‘But these plates are nothing to do with her. I don’t see why you have a problem with them,’ pointed out Mia Huang.
‘ They just point back to Staller. There’s something about everything she does that makes me think of her as a double agent,’ reflected ZgV pensively.
‘But I guess you’re right. These are pretty cool plates,’ she added.
Mia Huang smiled warmly.
‘I want a drink,’ said ZgV.
‘Sweet mother, I cannot drink – slender Aphrodite has overcome me
with longing for a girl. I want you,’ panted Mia Huang in response. She fluttered her eyes like cold-blooded intention replicates.
It was inevitable. Her words were more naked than flesh, stronger than bone, more resilient than sinew, more sensitive than nerve.
‘Well, as the good poet once wrote, there is no place for grief in a house which serves the Muse,’ responed ZgV, her taut body now turning to face the other girl.
‘In the crooks of your body, I find my religion,’ laughed Mia Huang.
‘Stand and face me, my love, and scatter the grace in your eyes. Once again lusts drive me on and loosens my limbs. You are the bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done,’ said ZgV as she slowly fondled the other woman with a desire that shook their hearts, like the wind on the mountain rushing over the oak trees.
Lust is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables, an evening star, the fairest of all the stars and they were shackled by it.
“If you forget me, think of our gifts to Aphrodite and all the loveliness that we shared, all the violent tiaras, braided rosebuds, dill and crocus twined around your young neck, myrrh poured on your head and on soft skin and hard thighs, girls with all that they most wished for beside them and touching them and in them while no voices chanted choruses without their own, no woodlot bloomed in spring without song,’ cried ZgV as deranged orgasmic spasm pressures began to rise.
Their gracious forms became honey-desire poured upon their lovely faces, as if Aphrodite was honouring them and Eros, again, was loosening their limbs into the deranged night of gifts.
‘Bittersweet, sly, uncontrollable creature…You will have memories, because of what we did when we were new at this,’ cried Mia Huang whose body was a wild shining beacon of adorable ecstacy.
And so they did many things then – all beautiful. The gleaming stars all about the shining moon hid their bright faces, laid out full-orbed and splendid to the sky, orgasmic groans flooding the shadowed earth with the sounds and touch of clear silver light. Their hearts were on wings for when they looked at each other for even a moment, no speech was left in them, no: their tongues break and thin fire was racing under their skin and in their eyes no sight. And drumming filled ears and cold sweat held them and shaking gripped them both, greener than grassmay until they slept each on the breast of their delicate friend, one like a goddess and in whose song most of all Mia Huang rejoiced as she found herself touched in her those places of divine cosmic mysteries.
Sometimes at sunset the rosy fingered moon would touch her like this, surpassing all the stars. And her light stretched over the salt sea and equally the flower deep gardens. And the beautiful dew is poured out of her and her roses bloomed and frail chervil and flowering sweetclover swept from out every pore as she reached the deranged orgiastic fever of delight and desire with the willing grace that goes back and forth remembering willing and strange lusts and that longing that bites as ever her tender mind.
‘Come to me again and loosen me from blunt agony. Work me and fill my heart with fire. Stand by me and remember on the face of this black earth, it’s what one loves that’s fairest. Farewell, go and remember me. You know how I cared for you,’ mumbled ZgV in a shuddering paroxysm of orgasmic fever.
‘If not, I would remind you of our wonderful times. For by my side you put on many wreaths of roses and garlands of flowers around your soft thighs and sweet ass and tender breasts and with my precious and royal perfume you anointed yourself. On these soft beds you satisfied your passion and there was no dance, no holy place from which we were absent. Come once more, and abate all torments; take the bitter care from my mind, and give me all I long for lady, and in all my battles fuck me as my comrade where stars around the beautiful moon hide back their luminous form whenever we shine on the earth,’ said ZgV.
When engorged with giving, lush, sinewy flesh she was always filled with joy and appreciation.
Everything was silvery and delicate on a soft bed. They would let loose their longing even when tired. A warm tropical night rained on their thick dark sleep and upon their eyes.
In the pink dawn they dressed and slipped away.
Hours later and ZgV was alone. In her eyes was a heinous venom circuit. She was ready for the next phase.
The blood hologram said it:
‘The only way to break out of the vicious cycle of ideological mystification is to step through the fantasy itself.’
About the author
Occupying the dangerous borderland of grotesque comedy, sexual liberation and vertiginous horror, Johnny Pulp self-consciously adopts the stance of the pop-cultural avant-garde in the tradition of Swift and Sade, Dada and Burroughs and taps into a popularist, inclusive and democratic context that rudely dissents from the powers that be, to produce an insolent laughter of the angry and the powerless. Johnny Pulps twelve books including Cancer Boy, Postcards of the Hanging and The Millennium GM Killer Mutant Lesbian Baby Plaguein a binge of attempted institutional sabotage . His last novel, Palomares Bomb Grrlswas published in 2018 and a collection of three early novels, ‘Triple Penetration’in 2010.
On Palomares Bomb Grrls:
“Palomare Bomb Grrls is so OTT it could only have been written by Johnny Pulp or me! If you’ve been dreaming of a roller coaster ride thru the dark side of a sick mind with absolutely no redeeming features, this is the book for you. If you’re a literary bore welcome to your worst nightmare!” STEWART HOME, author of Red London
“Palomares Bomb Grrlsachieves a radical pornolization of critical & social theory for an era in which every news cycle inflates an already M.A.D. number of political “broken arrows.” LOUIS ARMAND, author of The Combinations
